Love or arranged, matches are made in heaven, and if it is mommy dear who is guiding you through, the new phase in your life will become much simpler. Also, you are sure to earn some brownie points with your husband and your in-laws as well! Here are 8 marriage secrets that every mother should share with her daughter.
#1 Enter and stay in a relationship for the right reasons
“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.” – Pride and Prejudice
Mothers must teach their daughters that true love is about affection, selflessness and gratitude, and letting go. If those qualities are not a part of a relationship, then it time to reconsider your steps! The fear of being alone or societal pressures are not the reasons to stay with someone. She should accept a proposal out of genuine love.
#2 Love is not to be tested
If you love someone you never make them walk through fire, do you? Testing someone’s love is just like that. In a way it is a sign of one’s own fears and insecurities. Daughters should be taught to have unconditional trust in her significant other, the strength of the relationship, and herself. This will prepare her for a healthy relationship. While opening up to the idea of sharing your life with someone might be scary, isn’t it is also what makes the journey of life rewarding?
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#3 Let love radiate from within
You cannot love and respect others unless you have oodles of it for yourself. After getting married, even if you are not practically living with your in-laws in the same house, the relationship with them and other significant elders does matter a lot. You need to do things for others and sometimes even place them over youself. Do not worry, if the origin of love is from within, nothing can stop it from being a perennial spring for everyone!
#4 Room to breathe and love
Every relationship needs time and personal space to bloom. Remind your daughter to give her partner that breathing space. Tell her to not let feelings like over-possessiveness, jealousy or even curiosity override her basic sense of judgement. More importantly, to also keep alive her interests, hobbies, spend time with friends, and also some alone time- she needs it all to feel fulfilled. There is always plenty of room for romantic love.
Must Read: How to Beat Jealousy Pangs in a Relationship
#5 Food for the soul
A mother must give her daughter a diet that is rich in self-esteem and confidence. Jess Weiner, writer and a self-esteem ambassador, says, “Believing you are enough means remembering that nothing in you needs to change to be loved.” Teach your daughter that someone who tries to convince her otherwise is not the man for her. Remember daughters, if you do not believe in yourself, nobody else will.
Also Read: 5 Types of Men You Can Date But Never Marry
#6 Your body is not an object of desire
Ah! That three lettered word- the ouch talk! Mothers should teach their daughters to love their bodies- another important lesson in self-esteem. Your body deserves pleasure, and is not an object of lust and “use”. If you don’t teach this, who will? Her body is not only to be loved by her partner, but also for her to take care of and experience its joys. Talking about it positively puts her in the driver’s seat.
#7 Marriage is not “for giving up”, but forgiving
The first few months of marriage can be fairly challenging. Especially when it comes to arranged marriages when the partner is chosen by the family, and the girl has to accept her husband with all his “goods and bads”. It is important that mothers teach their daughters to first be comfortable with, and accept their own shortcomings. Thus, it would become easier for her to accept her better half as she realises that people are not perfect, and that rather than giving up, letting go of certain things is the key to happiness.
#8 Write your own fairy tale
“Mr. Tall, Dark, Handsome” comes strumming his guitar as he descends his white horse- tring tring- it is time to wake up and smell the coffee girl! Tell your daughter not to model her life after Cinderella or Rapunzel. Real love is complicated, and comes in all different forms. But it is not difficult to write your own fairy tale, once you have leant about the keys to a happy relationship.
Secrets to a happy, healthy and long married life is the best gift you can give your soon-to-be married daughter today. So, go ahead and make her life more beautiful and fulfilled.